Everybody Limbo!

LE BILBOQUET

SARA

Upon arriving at Le Bilboquet, my first impression of the ambiance was the overly tanned, Eurotrashy girl standing outside, pouting at her boyfriend. However, as the waiter pushed past the botox wonder, my eyes targeted the filet in his hands, adorned with béarnaise sauce, and loaded with thin, perfectly cooked fries.

Thus was the spirit of the evening. One disaster (a trash-tastic clientele), was redeemed by a positive factor (the allure of seared cow). As the night rolled by, I found Le Bilboquet had more ups and downs then The Cyclone and my previous relationship combined. To tell you the truth, I found myself in a sort of dining purgatory. I don't mean to make the restaurant sound bad...because it wasn't. However, one hit or miss seemed like it could direct the evening into heaven or hell, thus leaving me in limbo the entire night. For example, the glorious looking filet called to me, enticing me with its
hymn. I couldn't wait to tear into it. It turned out I had to wait. In fact, I had to wait about 40 minutes even though we had reservations.

GREG

Libby and I got to the restaurant a few minutes before you, and I could tell within seconds that our "reservation" was no more relevant to the maitre d than the color of my underwear (blue with white polka dots.) I also noticed that we weren't in Kansas anymore; after months of dining at downtown restaurants, this Upper East Side establishment had an air of pomposity and
privilege that our usual downtown spots tended to avoid. But the place came highly recommended, so I didn't mind dining outside of our usual comfort zone. We were also short Liz, our recently engaged 4th Supper Club member, who was trapped in Cairo thanks to (ironically) an Air France strike. Hey, at least it wasn't raining.

SARA

Ha! I didn't even realize the irony at the time! Guess the French aren't in a rush to get anyone anywhere.... Especially the Maitre d', who was hardly apologetic towards the fact that I had to stand outside, in high heels, staring at Miss Trashy
McGee's grimace. Sure, the restaurant was TINY, however, I've been at other small dining establishments, which were just as popular (if not more), and I was seated right away (Little Owl). Or if not, I was given a complimentary glass of wine or champagne (Applewood). In this case I would have even accepted genuine remorse.

GREG

Remorse from a Frenchman? Non! We'd already heard rumors of preferential treatment for "friends", so again, comes with the territory.

SARA

Once seated, all sins were forgiven by a perfectly poured Belvedere martini, and some of the best appetizers I have ever tasted. The tuna tartare is highly recommended, and though French in nature, reminded me of a very well prepared Hawaiian poke. The beef carpachio topped with arugula, frisee, and vinaigrette was alive with freshness and flavor. The fois gras, served in a traditional terrine, was of high quality, and very tasty. Though some prefer this spreadable version, I was hoping my gavaged goose liver were simply seared.

GREG

I don't know what "gavaged" means. But yes, big fan of all three aps. Fresh, flavorful, fun to eat. I could have downed a mound of the foie, and the tuna tartare, which Libby had already heard was fantastic, was fantastic. The carpachio was kinda hard to find under all that frisee, but I loved it too.

SARA

To gavage is to force feed. Which, when they tried to rush us through our meal, grabbing plates off the table, made me feel like the goose. Now, the wine....
To tell you the truth, I don't remember what kind of red you ordered. To my credit, I was famished from waiting so long to eat that the martini went straight to my head. The wine was delicious, however, I was partly offended that our waiter was not around to fill my glass up throughout my meal. In fact, he was merely there to bring us our food, and then our check. He was a nice guy though...whatever his name was....

GREG

It was a 2003 St. Emilion Bordeaux, $52 (the wine, not the waiter.) I can't get any more specific than that, because my martini had also caused a slight loss of focus. Obviously, a French red was the way to go at a French
restaurant, especially with steak on the way.

SARA
Oh yes...the steak. Perhaps they thought the strong martini and the bottle of wine would make me forget the entree. The
fries were awesome, but the steak (though HUGE for a filet), was totally over cooked...straight from the flames of Hades. I was so looking forward to it being amazing. I was crushed and would have sent it back, if I knew how to summon the waiter. Instead I covered it in that angelic béarnaise sauce it came with. The sauce was its saving
grace. However, béarnaise sauce is my Achilles heel. If you put it on cardboard I'd probably eat it. To give the place some credit, your steak was perfectly cooked, and you were kind enough to share it with me.

GREG

I can't understand how we both ordered the exact same dish, yet they came out prepared so drastically different. My steak was juicy on the inside, crispy on the outside, and quite yummy altogether. I thought the sauce was a bit thick, but it tasted just as good on the fries as it did on the filet.

SARA

Libby had the sea bass which was unfortunately dry and still contained some tiny bones. The sauce it came with was very flavorful though. Her side was some sort of aubergine puree. To me, it looked like an eggplant had thrown up on her plate. It didn't taste much better either.

GREG

She did like the tomato salad, though finding it on that overcrowded plate was somewhat tricky. I wonder if the fact that we were eating so late meant the chefs were too tired to serve us their best. Drying out sea bass is a sin.

SARA

We ended our meal with an overly sweet apple tartine, which (to keep in concept of the evening's ups and downs) came with delicious ice cream. There was also some chocolate mousse I think...but I was too intent on finishing the fantastic
glass of port to care about it.

GREG

To keep in concept of the evening, the mousse was too dry. We never should have ordered two deserts to begin with, but my guilt at ordering the same entrée as you made me feel obligated to have a few more items to discuss here. As for the port, I wish I'd thought to ask WHICH port. The waiter recommended "port" and port we had.

SARA

This is true, but they really didn't care much about what we wanted, so I was somewhat happy that they gave us anything at all! I'm VERY surprised they didn't have any after dinner wines. The port was lovely though. I felt high in the clouds. When
the check arrived moments later (over $100 a person), I crashed to the ground, crushed by the Luciferian fee.

At the end of the evening I was glad the majority of Euros had left, and as the crowd thinned out,
there were some "respectful"-looking upper-eastsiders in our midst (lack of hair gel and spray on tan). I was happy to see that people other then the maitre-d's friends were diners.

GREG

Remind me never to eat at 10:00 on a Monday again.

SARA

Overall, Le Bilboquet left much to be desired. In its defense, I'm still thinking about the appetizers, wine, and béarnaise sauce. However, a $35 steak should be cooked to the diner's specification, and the waiter should at least be around to see if everything is ok with the meal. I left the restaurant feeling nauseous. Not because of the cooking...but because of
the emotional roller coaster it took me on throughout the night. If they were to change a few things about the place (the service being the #1 factor), I believe Saint Peter might open those pearly white gates. However currently, this place remains in a midway abyss.



FINAL GRADES - Greg
Ambiance B
Service B-
Appetizers A-
Entrees B
Deserts C+

FINAL GRADES- Sara
Ambiance C (I didn't care for the Barry White blaring in the background, or the tacky bathrooms)
Service C-
Appetizers A
Entrees B-
Deserts C+


Three Course Meal: Average $40-$70 per person.
With Drinks: $70-black card AMEX (depending on what you order...or if you're a wino)
Bottle of wine: $40-$500